Reason #6981 – Please Disease Me

She’s got a ticket to ride. She’s got some astrogli-hi hide.
What the hell am I talking about?
Ticket to Ride was written by John Lennon and it was inspired by….what else?
German Prostitutes!
In Germany at the time hookers were required to have monthly health checks, after which they received a card to prove they were STD free. As the beats would put it, they needed to check out the octopus’s garden. Oh what joy for every girl and boy, knowing they’re happy and they’re safe. That’s right, wild honey pie inspections. Fixing a hole.
Apparently the beatles were no strangers to hiding their love away, in spite of all the danger. “If you couldn’t get groupies, we had whores.” John Lennon related to
Rolling Stone Magazine’s
Jan Wenner in a 1970 interview, “There were photos of me crawling round on my knees coming out of whorehouses in Amsterdam with people saying: ‘Good morning, John.’

Well, what’s a couple of hookers among friends?

The famous ditty Maggie Mae was about a prostitute in Liverpool. In fact, Maggie is slang for prostitute. Lady Madonna was about a single mother trying to make ends meet by walking the street. Mich kaufen kann Liebe, ja ja ja!

We decided to follow up on some of this information and separate fact from fiction, so at great length we tracked down and eventually landed an interview with the now famous Maggie Mae. Her real name is Margaret-Anne Maye, she currently resides just outside of Liverpool in Bootle. Ironically, she’s also twenty minutes from the John Lennon Airport. Here is a brief transcript from the interview:

SMB: Maggie, I’m sorry, Margaret-Anne, is it true that you used to sleep with the bealtes for money?
MM: We were all very poor in those days. I was a dreadfully ugly young girl…
SMB: (interrupting) You’re still quite ugly, I’m afraid.
MM: Ahem…yes, I suppose so. Anyway my specialty was gobbling…
SMB: I’m sorry?
MM: Plate. Gate. Um, oral sex. As I was saying, we were all so poor in those days, the boys rarely had any money and I used to do it just to get something warm in my stomach.
SMB: (vomits)

If thats not enough proof, here it is right from a beatles mandibles:

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5 thoughts on “Reason #6981 – Please Disease Me

  1. Dogshit

    Hey Das, I think your Youtube account has been terminated. Sucks, I wanted to puke, I mean watch so many videos.

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