Reason # 395 – Lullaby of Beatleland

Just when you think you’ve got the answers, I change the questions..
– Rowdy Roddy Piper.

A fitting quote. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, here comes beatle Lullabys. I’m not sure who the intended audience is for this one, my guess its one of two people:

A) The fan who never gets bored of listening to Revolver and ends up staying awake all night basking in beatle blather, working themselves into such a frenzy at the sound of forty year old pop songs that they’re constantly late for work, showing up in their moptop wigs and drooling in a semi-catatonic, FF induced state of delirium. In other words, the average fan in need of a sleep aid.

B) Infants who can’t defend themselves.

I’m hoping the correct answer is A, if not there’s a new form of child abuse on the market just as dangerous as the epidemic of fat diabetic kids in America. This is no different than conditioning children to think that its a good idea to strap bombs to themselves or training them to become child soldiers. Maybe not quite as extreme, but its exactly the same method used.

Conditioning these young minds from infancy that this is not only music, but good music, is basically taking away any freedom of thought these poor kids are entitled to as human beings, programming them to believe that the only option in life is to stand in line with all the other open mouthed gawkers at the trough of the beatles, waiting for the honour of buying the next re-release. This is Burgess’s Ludovico Technique, this is Orwell’s Newspeak, its unspeakable and disgusting abuse of trust and power. I’d rather have my toddler not only breathe second-hand smoke, but smoke two packs a day!

Anyway, we’re always good for an example:

Here is the link to Amazon, not to buy it, but to complain and try and help rid the world of this scourge:

Rock A Bye Baby

It seems they had it planned all along.


Daniel Kaproth has informed us of an important, yet nauseating addition to this story:

Sadly, this is not the first time this kind of shit has gone down. Indie-pop-dipshit-whatever did this about six years ago. Only THIS could happen in a post-9/11 world…

If you followed the link you’re probably wondering just who this Jason Falkner is, and just how much of a loser must he must be to be to stoop to this level. The truth is, it doesn’t matter. His pathetic attempt at a beatlemart cash advance has crumbled any semblance of artistic credibility this precious little brown-nosing-indie-employee-of-the-month-pretty-boy might have held while he was fellating the editor of Doucebag Monthly for a feature article.

Thanks Daniel!

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