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Reason # 789 - While My Guitar Hero Gently Weeps

Have you ever wondered why beatlemart hasn’t jumped on the Guitar Hero bandwagon yet? Pretty strange considering it involves money going directly into their pockets. Its not as if they haven’t been asked either, the masses are practically down on their hands and knees begging for a song to play along with. Yet for some reason, they keep turning down this easy money…something strange is afoot, and we have the answer.

The powers that be realize that the shrine to George Harrison is built on a very flimsy foundation, the illusion that he was a great guitarist. He may very well have been the best guitarist in the beatles, but his reign as master ends there. We’ll agree he was a capable guitar player, but lets face it: most of his parts were simply paint-by-number embellishments. The beatlemachine knows this, and they want it kept secret. How many books of guitar tablature do you think they’d sell if a three year old laughed at how easy the songs are to play? Besides, the three year olds will most likely despise this music after being forced to listen beatle lullabys.

If you’re having trouble wrapping your head around this, here is a simple test that you can do yourself.

The Guitar Hero Challenge:

1. Choose any FF song with what you consider great guitar work. Better yet, pick three or even five of your favorites.

2. Select a song at random from the list below, this is the songlist for Guitar Hero I. (Guitar Hero II will also work)

3. Compare the two songs, and judge them on the merits of the guitar playing alone. Take into consideration technical ability, speed, originality, melody, technique, or even bitchin’ tone.

Motorhead - “Ace of Spades”
Ozzie Osbourne - “Bark at the Moon”
Audioslave - “Cochise”
Pantera - “Cowboys From Hell”
Cream - “Crossroads”
Sum 41 - “Fat Lip”
Edgar Winter Group - “Frankenstein”
Blue Oyster Cult - “Godzilla”
Burning Brides - “Heart Full of Black”
The Exies - “Hey You”
Red Hot Chili Peppers - “Higher Ground”
Joann Jett - “I Love Rock and Roll”
The Ramones - “I Wanna Be Sedated”
Bad Religion - “Infected”
Black Sabbath - “Iron Man”
Queen - “Killer Queen”
Boston - “More Than A Feeling”
Queens of the Stone Age - “No One Knows”
ZZ Top - “Sharp Dressed Man”
Deep Purple - “Smoke on the Water”
Jimi Hendrix - “Spanish Castle Magic”
Incubus - “Stellar”
Megadeth - “Symphony of Destruction”
The Donnas - “Take It Off”
Franz Ferdinand - “Take Me Out”
Stevie Ray Vaughn - “Texas Flood”
White Zombie - “Thunderkiss 65″
Helmet - “Unsung”
Judas Priest - “You Got Another Thing Comin”
David Bowie - “Ziggy Stardust”

After reading through this list, can you think of even one song from their entire catalogue to put to the test?
We rest our case.

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