Reason # 4279 – I’ll Follow The Sum

Breaking News:

Starbucks will soon be releasing the John Lennon iTunes video album. Thats right, you can now buy a crappy video with your crappucino! Soon you’ll be able to plop down a measly $25 for a sure-to-be-collectible John Lennon iTunes card that will allow you to download all of John Lennon’s previously released videos.

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Finally, you can leave your homes and know at the press of a button, you’ll be able to watch the bespectacled one anytime you need a fix. Whew, what a relief. The company hopes this will also cut down on the cost of dairy as well, because beatleheads will cream in their pants the second they see it.

The release comes hot on the heels of the last FF latte releases, Memory Almost Full, and the only available at Starbucks CD compilation, John Lennon – Remember. Apparently the latter didn’t sell very well due to the title, people read it and remembered they already had seventeen other Lennon Collections. It was still quite popular among the brain-dead, as well as new fans who had never heard of the man (it happened once at a Starbucks in Tristan da Cunha).

This new avenue of revenue is a dream come true for the machine that put the bucks in star. Hit the public when they aren’t awake but still have their wallets open.

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