Fan mail #1 - A word from the average beatle fan

Welcome to our newest feature, Fan mail aka: If everybody hates you, you must be doing something right.

We’ve had plenty of requests to share some of the messages received from our more eloquent detractors. After wading through hundreds of emails consisting of variations on the theme, ‘You’se guys are stupids! LOL! How come you not die?ROTLFLMA!‘ We’ve selected a few masterpieces to give you an idea of what the average beatle fan thinks, where they’re coming from, and their opinion of our work. A glimpse into the mind of what we’re up against.

Without further ado, here’s the first letter from our series. This one came to us through our Myspace account. In this young mans defense, he did come around and see a glimmer of light at the end of the FF dungeon.

*Please note: spelling, grammar, and punctuation have been left in their original form. If anyone cares to submit an English translation please get in touch with us via the contact page -Das*

Subject: man you must have a good life

your so fucked up you must cut down the greatist progreshion in music since cave men beat on crap to make drum beats john lennon said that they where beter known than the god not beatler than god and they where more people at that time knew of the beatles than of god so that argument is bull shit the beatles are funier than you tough stop bitching about it george harrison divoted his life to music and did a lot for the world and your a jackass for malesting the cover to let it be. paule micartney is well within the ranks of the best modern conposers dont believe me listine to wings live and let die very carfully then reconsider you opinion. john lennon did more for the anti vietnam movent then other single artist wich probably does not concern you because from the sound of it you are one of thous nazis who like to send americas youth off forcefully tword iminate death because of net picky political crap. mind you he was protesting will the president himself was looking four an excuse to have him deported because he was afraid that john whould potentialy threten the publices opinion on his personal war excuse me i cant call it a war, police action and yes john hade a drug problem but to conplety disrespect one of the world finest musicians because of your bias bullshit especialy sence lennon managed to break his harowin adiction [if you could have enouf self controll to break a harowin adiction i will eat my keyboard] and tell his son he was a smelly hippie you fucking asshole i am two pissed to take the time to talk about ringo right know but if you have a problem with the beatle kicking you ass at life send me a message of all you conplants and i will adress them personaly untill then dont be a your an asshole

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January 31st, 2008

7 Responses to “Fan mail #1 - A word from the average beatle fan”

  1. jp Says:
    February 4th, 2008 at 8:19 pm

    I didn’t think you’d take it so seriously Das..gezzduude..

    I thought my bit about wings was especially good. well within the ranks of modern composers..of course Keith Emerson..dude..

    have you ever seen the amerikanski comic “get fuzzy”? I tried to spell the above in the manner of Bucky the Cat..works great! Less Filling!

    don’t forget to vote for Hillary tomorrow! we need another republican in the white house..PLUS!! she is SO into Paul.

    though….
    takin care of biddness is her theme song..i am not making this up!.. but hey Das?..isn’t that..Canadian? COOL!
    NAFTA! It works in so many ways!
    jp
    website is back up too..zzzzzzzzzzzzz

  2. jp Says:
    February 4th, 2008 at 8:21 pm

    rotfl!

    duude.

  3. Das Says:
    February 5th, 2008 at 11:15 am

    I should have recognized it was you from you’re insightful words on Paul:

    “paule micartney is well within the ranks of the best modern conposers”

    Yeah, all great American political songs come from Canada. What says vote republican better than a couple of boozed up hosers?

  4. jp Says:
    February 5th, 2008 at 11:49 am

    ok, i ‘fess up..I am taking credit for something I didn’t do. As IF..I could write something as well as that..I wish..I mean if i could..I could get a gig doing viral marketing for..Hillary.

    truth! dude! stranger than fiction..
    dude!
    rotfl etc..

  5. dep Says:
    April 20th, 2008 at 2:42 pm

    This website is such a load of crap. Stop thinking that we are only fans of the beatles b/c we grew up with their music. Hey, here’s a thought, perhaps everyone knows and likes the Beatles music b/c they were HUGE. People love the Beatles’ music (well, everyone but the stuck-up Jesus-freaks that we all know as christians) b/c it is enjoyable and catchy music. Let me guess, you’re into, hmmm… The Rolling Stones, U2, Aerosmith, etc (the etcetera is placed there in order to show that the list of shitty bands goes on and on). The Beatles were talented, you should learn something about music (and writing), then try judging them. Now, I know that I’m being harsh and everything b/c you are probably just some angry little boy/middle-aged man living in your mothers basement, and yet, all of the shit that you spew on the internet makes me already dislike you. Anyway, I’m not the Beatles’ biggest fan or anything, but, as a musician, or as someone who can appreciate talent, I know without having to be told by anyone else that the Beatles were a great band. You think that you are so trendy for writing this shit, but noone will “spread the word” effectively. You are such a little boy/girl. Oh, and by the way, Hillary is not a Republican and modern day Republicans would have hated the Beatles.

  6. Das Says:
    April 20th, 2008 at 6:49 pm

    Thanks for the comment dep!

    I realize the majority of these comments are akin to a bird crap flyby, yet I can’t help but reply. Shoo! Damn pigeons!

    Kindly notice that we’ve never tried to push any other music on our readers. Its far too subjective to argue that ‘this’ band is actually talented, while the FF sucked balls. Caveat Emptor. You like what you like, but perhaps you should understand why.
    One of our main points is that the beatles were HUGE. There is no escape. Its hard to deny a combination of brainwashing, marketing and nostalgia account for the majority of this bands ongoing success…forty years later…

    If you’re a musician I’m sure you can appreciate the technical achievements of their engineers and the brilliance of George Martin. Imagine yourself in a recording studio with unlimited time, unlimited money, the best session musicians and equipment in the world, plus the aforementioned talent at your disposal. You could make an album equal to anything the FF did. While standing on your head! It probably wouldn’t go anywhere unless you also possessed the unlimited marketing to force it on your adoring public who would swear you walk on water, but you could do it.

    As for judging music, we’ve made ample comparisons of relevant artists for your consideration. There is a level playing field here, not a group of anonymous dorks preaching the gospel of John, Paul, George and Ringo.

    At any rate, thanks for dropping by.
    Your pal,
    Das, the little boy/girl/middle-aged man who lives in his mommy’s basement.

  7. better then you Says:
    August 2nd, 2008 at 1:57 pm

    you guys are freaking dumb idiots that probly piss on you grandmas faces you probly never even listen to beatles and are dumb. i bet you never even done weed or drugs tghat is probly why youdont like the beatles nd love war and unhippy suff. i hope you guys are shit and never see you walking down the streat alone cause ill beat you guys up.

    the end

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