Reason #1938.2 – Across the Universe *Update*

People laughed, people scoffed, but a mere two months after we announced our plans for sending beatle fans into space on the Across the Universe Tour, NASA beat us to the quick by launching phase one for themselves. Hats off, drinks are on us!

Link to the official NASA Story

Their Beatlefication of the universe project is admittedly slightly more advanced than our original idea. They’ve assured a clear passage for the trip by blasting the dreaded FF ditty at the speed of 186,000 miles per second at the star Polaris. As you undoubtedly know, hearing this song at a mere 33 1/3 RPM is enough to send the typical human into convulsions, at this speed the moptop missile will destroy anything in its path. At least anything with a decent ear or sense of taste, leaving the musically challenged beatlehead to tiptoe through the nebulae unfettered. We have only one criticism of their actions, why didn’t they shoot one of the former beatles into space instead?

A Ghastly side-effect, aside from the request that earthlings all play the song in sympathy with the launch, is the ever-quickening disintegration of the already fragile minds of these poor braindead fools standing in line to go on the trip.

A direct quote from the comments page on NASA’s official site:

How befitting that the music of humanity is sung amongst the music of the spheres; how the sound of a generation past shall rest with generations future; of four young lads from Liverpool, amongst the skiffle and the rock n roll, elevated to the galactic neigbourhood and beyond. RIP John & George Amen Om. Well done NASA. Beatlemania at Polaris in 143 years?

Gee, how thoughtful. How eloquent. Kind of makes you wish for instant global annihilation, don’t it?


Reason # 1938 – Across the Universe Tour

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2 thoughts on “Reason #1938.2 – Across the Universe *Update*

  1. jp

    ok, so I was like REALLY depressed reading about this “all our radio waves will last 4 ever and ever” stuff when I saw a scientist on the Beatl I mean Science channel saying that actually, about 1 light year out, all the waves turn into unintelligible then I thought, like dude..Keith Emerson and Randy Bachman..dude, there will be extra terr res tourettes urals, whatever ..dudes that could like decipher the noise, so like it would still work and stuff.

    Like Wings and stuff assole.

  2. Das Post author

    Good one JP.

    Extra Tourettes urals, I’ll bet they haven’t taken that into consideration at all. Those fools don’t know what they’ve done!

    If in fact after one light year sound waves turn into unintelligible noise, at least its an improvement…

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