Reason # 561 – The Beatles, Hanging Tough

You say you want a boy band revolution?

The FF are usually thought of as one of the defining bands in rock. A pioneering group which broke boundaries, bent the rules, and changed the face of popular music to become the greatest band in history. This is true in a sense; they were the first boy band. This honor is usually bestowed on the Monkees, but the truth is the Monkees weren’t the first, only the most blatant.

Take a look at some of the characteristics of a boy band.

They’re composed of several male singers with a strong emphasis on vocal harmonies and little importance given to musical ability.

One of the most crucial aspects insuring the success of a boy band is their image, which is carefully constructed and controlled by managing every aspect of the groups clothes, hair, promotional materials (which are frequently supplied to teen magazines), promotional items (anything that you can slap a picture of the band on), and of course music videos.

Their fans are young people, mostly girls.

Typically each member of the band will have some distinguishing feature or personality stereotype, such as the baby or the tough guy. This formula is based on the groundbreaking work of the FF: Paul was the cute one, George the quiet one, John the smart one, and Ringo the dumb one.

The music of a boy band is arranged and produced by a producer who works with the band at all times, oversees and controls the groups sound – if necessary, to the point of hiring session musicians and singers. (cough, cough. George Martin)

The Key factor for a successful boy band is to be trendy, or Fab. This means the band conforms to the most recent fashion and musical trends in the popular music scene.

The modern boy band has taken all of these ingredients and added a heaping tablespoon of dancing to the mix. If the beatles could have danced they’d be bigger than the beatles! (Jesus analogies don’t apply to this kind of fanaticism)

Quiz:

Apply this simple formula to complete the following paragraph:

The ____ were picked up by manager _____. He quickly got rid of _____ because ____ the front man needed to be the cute one, polished them up, put them in suits with fab haircuts, told them what kind of songs to play, teamed them up with ______ and proceeded to get them on the cover of every teen magazine in existence.

For bonus points, add dancing to the equation and see if you can distinguish between the FF and New Kids on the Block.

beatlesboyband2.jpg

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7 thoughts on “Reason # 561 – The Beatles, Hanging Tough

  1. john

    I’ll play, I’ll play!

    Apply this simple formula to complete the following paragraph:

    Cheap Trick were picked up by manager Ken Adamany. He quickly got rid of Xeno (their first singer)because Robin the front man needed to be a cute(r) one, polished them up, put them in suits with fab haircuts (1/2 of them anyway), told them what kind of songs to play, teamed them up with producer Jack Douglas,(hot off Arrowsmith) and proceeded to get them on the cover of every teen magazine in existence.

    Rick =zany one
    Tom= Farrah Fawcett shag poodle-doo one
    Robin= umm..I dunnknow, the cuddly one?
    Brad (can’t have THAT name..go with Bun E) “loveable” Ringo-like one.

    further research: see “Budakon, Live at”

  2. emma

    Okay, to start= FUCK YOU! the beatles are incredible musicians. you are with no doubt, in my mind a simple minded, nonintelligent, “i hate myself so i’ll hate what everyone else loves,” poor muscian lacking any talent of your own that you’ll bash on the beatles! the beatles? the beatles who started THE revolution in the music industy. first boy band my ASS. look at all the great, amazing bands that came after the ‘FF’ BECAUSE of their music!! sgt. peppers lonely hearts club band opened up an entirely different sound for music, along with helter skelter. hell listen to all their records from their early days too the ending, you can hear (if you do have ears, which might explain this whole website) how they changed their music- and how other artists seemed to follow their moves. and do you have any idea what john lennon did for this world?! (after the beatles) he tried to do somthing, for everyone. a simple man with a big heart, trying to start world peace, FOR YOU, FOR YOUR KIDS. and what do you have to show, a webpage bashing the beatles?! wow. i hope you learn to appreciate the beatles, and give up this bullshit website. i’d honestly hope you’d have somthing better to do. why don’t you pick up a guitar, learn how to play, learn how to sing, get a record lable, make 15+ records (that make it in the charts), get a big frenzy of fans. die. and see what kind of an asshole, after all that, would go through all this crap to make a webpage bashing your talent. thanks, have a beatle-ful day:)

  3. Brian Jones

    I will not spend my time in a weird and non sense-site. Only a thing, 4 lads change the music, the wearing style and make Liverpool (a dirty industrial town) into a well know place in the world! can you do something like this? nah

  4. Fashion Trends

    I love your thoughts! I normally don\’t even bother to leave comments, but I wanted to let you know that you hit the nail on the head!

  5. DogShit

    Geez Das, this Emma person says fuck you, calls you and asshole, tells you to die, then has the nerve like other FF beatards to talk about world peace.

    And to add insult to injury, they ALWAYS tap on the “unintelligent and simple minded” ploy if you don’t agree with their taste of species. Then the spelling, diction, diatribe, punctuation, capitalization, and screaming of their redundant rhetoric verbosity creates a massive conundrum and paradox to that equation. At least she or he didn’t call you a “FAGIT!”

  6. DogShit

    Actually, I reread this banter out of boredom more slowly from this Emma person. I was wrong in saying she told you to die, and was only quoting what happened to Lennon.

    My only question is how do you do a bunch of things like she is stating, die, then SEE what happens after that from some asshole creating a site about your life?

    Is it me, or do I need to take drugs to understand this? Or is there really an afterlife or recognizable reincarnation?

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