Reason # 846 – Texans rejoice as McCartney’s face smashed in

Hats off to the Lone Star State!

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For over a year brave Texans were forced to suffer under the terrible shadow of the FF regime (details here). Now, finally, one of the darkest chapters in Texas history can be closed.

It began innocently enough, MopTop saturation was little more than an irritation. A pimple on the ass of a thriving music scene. Slowly it began to grow more pervasive, trickling into their culture like hazardous waste seeping from a landfill. Soon it was tainting and watering down vital and innovative music, driving a stake through the heart of the community. Finally, the oppressive beatlemart went too far and decided it was time to destroy and defile the beautiful Texan landscape, completely wiping out any semblance of original or independent thought in the fine people who reside there. Four colossal idols were erected. A testament to the reign of fanatical nostalgia. They towered over the land, shadows spreading fear and bad music across the state.

Angry Texans had reached their breaking point. Annoying honest citizens with limp-wristed musical soda pop is one thing, but to take away freedom, country, and music – beatlemart messed with the wrong people this time. Battle-cries of ‘Remember the Alamo’ rallied citizens and the battle of Summer Street (next to the Target) began and ended in less than 8 minutes, securing Texas independence from FF fascism. The toppled statue of McCartney sent a clear message to the rodents at beatlemart, hopefully one that will deter similar ventures not only in the US, but thoughout the world – Don’t Tread On Us.

Unfortunately there is no footage of the battle, but we suspect it looked something like this:


Click for full sized image
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