Reason #34 – You Always Give Me Your Money

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse…
When you thought beatlemart couldn’t get anymore blatant…
Just when you thought we couldn’t possibly write about beatlemart again…

Bloomingdale’s is offering a first-ever designer assortment of apparel and accessories, inspired by the music of the beatles. And just in time for Halloween!


Believe it or not, this time we’re speechless. Its almost as if beatlemart suddenly grew bored with its plundering of peace and love, dropped the wallets it was holding in its savage teeth and began slapping fans in the face with its engorged testicles.

This unwarranted action has actually managed to break the spell and release some fans from their catatonic worship; at least the ones not wallowing about in pools of sycophantic drool, clubbing each other with their own gnawed off limbs while waiting in line outside of the store, desperate for a chance to spontaneously combust at the sight of a new FF trinket.

Here’s a smattering of moptop worthy garments offered up by this ingenious new clothing line:

A stylish new t-shirt for the low price of $78. This shirt screams out for help, alerting unaware passersbys to your unflappable sense of fashion and hip taste in music.

Beatles help! T-shirt

Next up is a new beatle tie!
You’ll be a smash at the next board meeting with this smart cord of love draped around your neck, and at a mere $225 USD, Bloomingdales is practically giving them away! Don’t forget, to tie this correctly you will need to know the proper way to tie a knot.

New Beatles Tie

And finally, one of the most exciting new items in this collection is the new beatles…um…dick rag?

beatles dick rag

In the outspoken words of some exceptionally enraged and disgusted fans:

“That is sooo rad!!! I have such a collection of Beatles things….more would be awesome. Plus who doesn’t like shopping for clothes, and Beatles stuff?”

“Nothing for ladies? Wow that’s not cool…”

“I’m so proud of being The Beatles fan!!!
The influence is amazing and timeless!

“Ouaw its great ^^ I want ! I must go to London !!! Thank you”

“Sweeeet, BEALTES FOREVER, <3 Greatest band ever by farrrrrr. And I dont just say that beacuse everyone else does, it sooo true. :D"

To see for yourself, Visit The Bloomingdales Site.

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6 thoughts on “Reason #34 – You Always Give Me Your Money

  1. jp

    …I am flabbergasteratated this your idea of a Halloween “prank”?

    OTOH..I wonder what some heepster in NYC is selling the Japanese print of Elvis in a line drawing or WHATEVER THE FUCK they do there in the city of godless SOHO or WEST HO or norte’ match the $796 Mahnlo del riveria by the pond shoes..Arghh I can’t take it no mo..(hiad blows up)

    ok..but really.

  2. Das Post author

    If it makes you feel any better you can think of it as a Halloween prank. Stand in front of the mirror at midnight and say ‘mother superior jumped the gun’ three times while holding a Yellow Submarine rosary.

  3. Air Force

    I think it depends on taste weather the tie is cheap or expensive you will get ties in more cheap but you have to pay well for brand ones and quality ones

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