Revolution Number Two

John Lennon’s toilet sells for $14,740

Number Two…Number One…Number Two….

Beatle albums are like assholes, everybody has one and they all stink.

Speaking of which, some of the beatles best work has obviously passed through this holy vessel which sold for more than George Harrison’s crab comb, but slightly less than Paul McCartney’s adult diapers. Unfortunately for the lucky buyer, the item was emptied and cleaned before the sale. Its contents were sent to Sir George Martin to remix for the next beatles box set, entitled Beatles Number Two.

Album cover for the follow up to One, beatles two

According to reports, Lennon was unhappy with the flowery toilet and was quoted as saying, ‘This thing is worse than the entire beatles catalog, it irritates the shit out of me.’ When asked what he wanted done with it, he answered, “I don’t give a crap, looking at it reminds me of writing with Paul.”

How could Lennon have known that 30 years later, his shit would hit the fan. At least this particular enthusiast got something useful, something friends and relatives can throw up in once they learn what it is.

Lennon’s toilet sells for $14,740 at UK auction

LONDON | Sat Aug 28, 2010 7:51pm BST

LONDON (Reuters Life!) – A toilet that belonged to late Beatle John Lennon fetched 9,500 pounds ($14,740) at auction on Saturday, around 10 times its estimate, the sale organizers said.

Lennon, who was murdered in New York in 1980, had the porcelain lavatory removed from Tittenhurst Park in Berkshire, southern England, where he lived from 1969 to 1971, and replaced with a new one.

The builders who took away the white and blue lavatory were told to “put some flowers in it or something,” according to the auction catalog.

Builder John Hancock stored it in his shed for 40 years until he died recently and the lavatory was sent for sale, British media reports said.

The toilet was among Beatles memorabilia sold at auction as part of the Beatle week festival in Liverpool, the group’s native city in northwest England. The pre-auction estimate was 750 to 1,000 pounds.

Anne-Marie Trace, who works at the Beatles Shop in Liverpool which organized the sale, said the high price paid had taken the organizers by surprise.

“I think it’s the most unusual item we’ve ever had in our auction,” she told Reuters.

The buyer was not identified but Trace said it was likely it was “going overseas.”

(Reporting by Adrian Croft; Editing by Jon Hemming)


If you’re interested in learning more about crap:

The Beatles are full of Crap

Sgt Peppers is a load of Crap

How To Slice a Turdber

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10 thoughts on “Revolution Number Two

  1. Ali

    This is honestly the greatest online discovery I have made in ages. It takes courage to stand up against the mass hysteria of beatles fans. I absolutely love you, and give you permission to be the father of my children. xD

  2. Igor

    What is the problem, okay, you don’t like them so what?! why lose your time doing it, don’t you have something to do?! Don’t like them so let it be!

  3. Das Post author

    Jeez, I wouldn’t have written about John Lennon’s toilet if I’d known you people would get so angry.

  4. Wes

    Someone would actually spend 14000 dollars to buy the toilet a Beatle took a dump on is about the crappiest piece of rock history that someone could buy. I wouldnt buy much of their music, let alone a toilet…

    Great site, btw. Nice and honest. I like that.

  5. John

    No posts on this site since December, I see. Hopefully the guy choked on his turd-laden prose and is now sucking warm beers with Jim Morrison in hell. Congratulations dude, you managed to find the four other morons who agree with you, you all had your cyber-circle jerk and can now go back to listening to the Dave Matthews Band. Jeez. See people, before the internet, these guys would only emerge from their mother’s basement to go to the comic book store and pick up the latest copy of “Gigantic Asses” on their way home, comics and Doritos under the other arm. Now these dorks start websites like this, find the 8 or 9 other people who agree with them, and they all exchange electronic pats on the back for being so brilliant, and “aren’t those people who don’t share our views just so stupid, huh huh, right Beavis?” So, just ignore them and they’ll go away, back to playing Halo and World of Warcraft in no time, and we can be heartened by the knowledge that the world will be enjoying the Beatles music hundreds of years after these dateless wonders are worm food. So there you go, have at it, dorks.

  6. DogShit

    My mother used to buy me “Asian Whores” so why would I want “Gigantic Asses?” And at least when we do get dates, we don’t pass them around the campfire swapping Petuli and diseases left and right, all the while listening to so called carnival-like beatles brilliancy music, high on hash.

  7. Das Post author

    “No posts on this site since December”

    If you had to listen to the music of the beatles in order to write an article you wouldn’t….

    Nice Dave Matthews jab though, haha.

    DS, gigantic Asian asses might be a new niche market, you should investigate.