Free Beatles Christmas Cards 2011

2011 was a busy year for the beatles. There was a book released this year about Yellow Submarine. Yes, Yellow Submarine. Paul McCartney wrote a ballet and re-released a book of paintings. Martin Scorsese made a movie about George Harrison. A book of John Lennon’s letters and cards was released. Ringo is working on his 17th solo album. Somebody made a beatle Love app. John Lennon’s extracted molar sold for $31,000. I’d like to think this is just because of the approaching Armageddon, the Mayan prediction of 2012 and the end of the Long Count Calendar, the End of Days, or even because it’s nearly Christmas.

Unfortunately the truth is far more grievous. This is simply the normal output for the beatlemart/beatleblind mechanism. Every 45 seconds beatlemart pukes another regurgitated blob of insufferable, un-listenable, unwatchable, inedible, ‘must have’ new releases. You aren’t dreaming when you suddenly realize that the beatles released 12 new albums in 2011, or that there were 47 new books written about them, or 12 documentaries, 2 docu-dramas, 4 musicals, 1 opera and 2 new religions based on the writings of The Four.

This revelation can only mean it’s time for Suck My Beatles fifth annual, insanely popular Free beatles Christmas Cards extravaganza! This year we decided to leave out the Christmas messages so you can give out these beautiful cards all year round! We like to think of it as ‘paying it forward’ as opposed to beatlemarts ‘pay us more, muthafucka.’

To print these cards try holding down Ctrl P, Command P on the Mac, or ask your mom for help if you are a beatle fan.

Three Wise Monkeys hate the beatles

The beatles made crap music

The beatles make bad music

The beatles sucked live

stop The beatles before they suck forever

The beatles music was gay, i mean that in the 4th grade sense

The beatles blow

For More Beatles Christmas Cards:

Free Beatles Christmas Cards 2010
Free Beatles Christmas Cards 2009
Free Beatles Christmas Cards 2008
Free Beatles Christmas Cards 2007

To download printer-friendly versions of these cards see instructions at the end of one of these previous collections.

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28 thoughts on “Free Beatles Christmas Cards 2011

  1. Stelth

    The Christmas season is one I enjoy tremendously. It has some great music. The former members of the beatles make NONE of it. In fact two of the fag 4 make the WORST Christmas music EVER. Wonderful Christmas Time by paul mcshithead and Happy Christmas (War Is Over) by the first dead one; suck SO completely. Why would non-christians even make Christmas music anyway? Money, of course. Rot in hell lennon. Merry Christmas, everyone else.

  2. Das Post author

    Ha, thanks. Merry Christmas to you too.

    I’d like to go on record as saying ‘Wonderful Christmas Time’ is not only the worst Christmas song of all time, but also one of the worst pieces of music I’ve ever had the misfortune of being subjected to.

    The Lennon one I actually don’t mind, aside from the non-stop year-round spin-a-thon (why do they need to use this song for commercials in July?), I like the chorus when Yoko’s vocals really come through.

  3. DogShit

    UMM, YEH. Thanks for being so original, with the comment, ALL CAPS, and compelling argument. Come back soon.

  4. Stelth

    Also, keep typing in all caps. It’s a handy way to identify yourself as a retard without having to actually read your rambling nonsense. Thanks Bill.

  5. TRK

    Without being as “eloquent” as “Bill Myer”, I’d like to say that everyone has their favorite band, baseball team, football team, etc. and it’s wrong to be so narrow minded to say that your band/team is the greatest in the world. Mine happens to be The Beatles but there are so many others that are a close second. Journey for one. I love Journey and a lot of bands say that they were influenced by The Beatles. Some say influenced by the Stones or Elvis but each performer has made some kind of contribution to rock/pop/metal, whatever. Maybe some people go overboard but that’s not the groups fault, is it? One performer that doesn’t appeal to me is Marylin Manson, but if he ever recorded a song that appealed to me, I’d say it. I wouldn’t like to say it, but I would. Come on people. There more important things to worry about than arguing over whose band is the greatest. If you enjoy listening to YOUR band, then YOUR band is the greatest! I enjoy listening to The Beatles and to me, MY band is the greatest! That’s all that should be important to all of us in our own minds.

  6. TRK

    By the way STELTH, do you have a wife and kids? If so, wouldn’t you hate to have someone kill them for no reason at all? Whether they were a celebrity or not, Beatle or not, that is a horrible thing to say about ANYONE. All musicians have to make a living, REGARDLESS of whether or not you liked their music. If you DO have any kids, TRY, at least, and “IMAGINE” if someone shot and killed you and your kid(s) and the rest of your family had to go through the agony of losing you.

  7. Stelth

    lennon was a dangerous subversive. I normally don’t celebrate death, but in his case I’ll make an exception.

  8. TRK

    Hey STELTH, is your real name David Chapman?? What the hell is wrong with you? You didn’t answer my question.

  9. DogShit

    And on the seventh day, the beatles created light, and saw what kind of money they were making off of thier garbage, and said it was good.

  10. Ming

    I don’t understand this site at all. 1) i love music of The Beatles, and it has nothing to do with it being “forced” at me as far as i know.. 1) my mother hates The Beatles and my father dislikes lots of their music. 2) i can recall many times liking songs (not yet knowing who made them) and then later finding out it was The Beatles. so i don’t understand your argument there.

    also i know people who don’t like The Beatles and yet they don’t like The Beatles but still can respect them. Much of their mucic i can have a real emotional connection with (and that is a great trait for any kind of music).

    I feel like this site is just a troll site. the internet is great for pissing off the maximum amount of people with little effort. so if that is your plan then i guess it is working swimmingly. next also start making sweeping insulting remarks about religions, and then move on to race. good job being The #1 Ass Holes of the Day! here is your trophy..

  11. Das Post author

    Your parents sound like fine people Ming, aside from their math tutelage skills.

    I don’t understand why all you beatle fans come here and call us names, it’s so unpleasant and creates a climate of angst. We are just living our lives the best way we know how, you emotional sadist.

  12. DogShit

    Ming, you probably gravitated toward that type of music because you where really young and liked Barney type music in the first grade, and you’ve been damaged. Listen to some Chopan, Beethoven, even Pink Floyd or Led Zepplin every time you get a “I am the Walrus, I am the Eggman, coo coo kee choo” ringing in your ears. Anything! If that doesn’t help, then you may be a lost cause, and next you will proclaim the beatles inspired them all, after they discovered electricity and gravity.

  13. Stelth

    Was it lost on ming that she trolled a “troll site”. Is that meta or ironic?

    DAS: I’m glad you enjoyed that conspiracy site. It’s lots of fun.

  14. DogShit

    I think they call it an oxymoron and a paradox joined on a genetic chain Stelth!

    In her defense, she will probably say she was just SURFING, and couldn’t believe ANYONE hated the beatles, and just had to take a look!

    Kind of like that guy next to you at the urinal…..U just can’t help but peek.

  15. Andrea

    Fuck you all! You guys are nothing but assholes & cunts. I hope you all fucking die and go to fucking hell. I wish that on your fucking mothers too! Fuck the creator of this shit the most!!!!!

  16. DogShit

    Peace and love and tolerance dude. Far out man.

    Hey Das, what happened to the log in and Meta links?