Category Archives: -Mind Control and Manipulation

Reason # 949 – The Beatles virus

A sinister genius recently launched an email virus targeting the beatle-blind masses. Witless fans would look in their inboxes and find their dreams had come true, a message entitled The Beatles – Back Together Again. Drooling and delirious, they would hysterically click the link provided and be re-directed to a site which installed malware on their PCs. The next time they plugged in their credit card information to pre-order the latest remix of Let It Be, their info would be compromised.

Swindling beatle fans is nothing new, but as hilarious as this new scam is, its still frowned upon by the the fine upstanding folks here at SMB. Seriously, how difficult is it to take money from a beatle fan? A more fitting virus would delete FF songs, videos, bookmarks, and homemade fan fiction.

The all encompassing beatlemart operates exactly like a virus. Its a Trojan horse injected into the mainstream which attacks the unsuspecting recipients brain and wallet in the same way the flu or H.I.V. sneak in and spread through the human body. A virus is a basically a sticky protein shell containing genetic material that latches onto a healthy cell, injects it, and battles for control. If it wins, it permanently alters the way the cell operates and reproduces. A powerful virus can transform defeated cells into a virus replication assembly line, spreading the infection as far as possible. In the case of the beatles, their sticky-sweet cuteness is the container. The effects are comparable to the Herpes simplex virus, which runs the gamut from the occasional minor irritation to severe, debilitating suffering and even death in extreme cases.

The beatle virus, aka: fabfouridae continues to be spread through the media via relentless bombardment. It follows the same basic method as advertising – manipulate the public by overwhelming it with so much senseless information that it deadens their senses and softens their minds. When this happens, you are easily bent over, and messages are rammed up your wazzoo.

Imagine if they played the same Mr. Clean commercials for forty years, never altering the jingle. What if Mr. Clean made the evening news twice a week, had articles written about him nearly everyday in newspapers around the world, made the covers of every music magazine approximately once a year, was played on the radio every hour, had documentaries and books written about him every month proclaiming how great and revolutionary he was and how relevant he remains today. Mr. Clean would be the man! He would be untouchable, especially when it came to being something you rub on the bathroom floor to remove urine stains and foul odors. In this light, we have to admit the beatles are the untouchable urine stains of music. Continue reading

Reason #930 – I Heal Fine

By the height of beatlemania many fans had completely lost their minds. A combination of bad music played at mind-numbing volumes, media manipulation, and complete global saturation resulted in a state of what could only be called ‘forced retardation.’

The average beatle fan suffered not only a loss of intelligence, but a loss of reality. Beatle blind pilgrims searched desperately for secret messages and salvation on album covers and cereal boxes. A few even went so far as to try finding meaning in their music. Delirium raged and the moptops were suddenly elevated to the status of prophets and snake handlers.

Fans began bringing disabled children to their concerts, convinced that with a word or a gesture the four wise men from Liverpool would heal them. It didn’t end there, mentally and physically handicapped people of all ages were wheeled backstage for a shot at salvation. Thalomide kids with deformed and missing limbs, the blind, people with crutches, canes, wheelchairs, and oxygen tents. Understandably, the only people who didn’t want to be healed by the beatles were the deaf.

These poor misguided people, or spastics as Lennon commonly referred to them, may have pinned their hopes of salvation on the wrong lads.

Ringo: “people would bring in these terrible cases and leave them in our dressing room. They’d go off for tea or whatever, and they would leave them behind. If it got very heavy we would shout, “Mal, cripples!” and that became a saying, even when there were no handicapped people present. If there were any people around we didn’t like, we’d should, “Mal, cripples!” and they’d be escorted out.”

George: “John was allergic to cripples. You could see he had a thing about them; I think it was a fear or something. …We’d come out of the band room to go to the stage and we’d be fighting our way through all these poor unfortunate people.”

John: “When we would open up, every night, instead of seeing kids there, we would see a row full of cripples along the front. When we’d be running through, people would be lying around. It seemed that we were just surrounded by cripples and blind people all the time, and when we would go through corridors they would all be touching us … They’d line them up, and I got the impression The Beatles were being treated as bloody faith healers …”

-source: The Beatles Anthology, pages 142-143

Continue reading

Reason # 4234 – Corn Flakes, Mind control, and Manipulation

John Lennon was inspired to write Good Morning, Good Morning by watching a Kellogg’s Corn Flakes Commercial. It made its way onto the hugely popular Sgt Peppers album. He found the catchy jingle irritating enough to make a song from to irritate the entire world.

Another Corn Flake inspired masterpiece came in the form of I am The Walrus.
Listen to this rare outtake as an example of how far Lennon would go to push the public in whatever direction he fancied.

[audio:Walrusflakes.mp3]

This particular version was scrapped for being much too blatant. Besides, they didn’t hold enough shares in Kellogg’s to make this pitch worthwhile. The beatles had more important things to sell, mainly themselves.

But really, advertising is the only reason this band exists today at all.

Does it strike you at all odd that when the Anthology Volumes 1 & 2 were released a few years back it made headlines internationally? Think about it, the same old shit you already own on cd, plus some outtakes and b-sides that have never been good enough to be released or played on the air to this day. That’s news?
How about the fact that to coincide with this release there was a six hour network TV broadcast on several channels?(available for purchase now) You would have to be an idiot to think this is all coincidence, goodwill, good timing, or even public interest.
It was a six hour infomercial!
If they wanted to sell you a beatle juicer and a beatle butt-plug, you would have bought those too.

This was a merciless, overwhelming assault on the general public for the sole purpose of putting more crap by these fake rock icons on the bestseller shelves. It didn’t start there, and it didn’t stop there. The entire reason for beatlemania in the first place was a well executed, well thought out, multi-billion dollar advertising blitz. Actors were paid to faint during their concerts and help incite the young crowds, their posters were hung in every record store and on every corner, their faces on the cover of every magazine, and when they travelled to the US they were already huge stars. In 1964…..WITHOUT EVEN RELEASING ANYTHING!

THEY HADN’T EVEN BEEN PLAYED ON THE RADIO YET!!!!

BEATLEMANIA WAS CREATED TO SELL MEET THE BEATLES IN AMERICA!

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Once again, if you think I’m making this up, here is a copy of the original December 1963 Capitol Records memo for sales managers and regional managers, outlining the initial “Beatles Campaign”. Click to open and read it for yourself, friends.

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I especially like the National Record News section on page two, where they describe how they created a magazine to promote the beatles with a four page spread. Here’s the excerpt:

“NATIONAL RECORD NEWS – BEATLE ISSUE”
Publicity Director Fred Martin has concocted a simply marvelous vehicle for spreading the Beatle story. It’s a four-page tabloid newspaper which looks deceptively legitimate. But of course it’s our doing, and all it contains is picture after picture and story after story on the Beatles.

You’ll be getting huge quantities of this tabloid. How to exploit it? Send bulk copies to major retailers for distribution to consumers. Offer bulks to jocks for give-away. But most important, make arrangements with local high schoolers to distribute them to fellow students after school (check with George Gerken on those arrangements).
The idea is to get as many copies of this tabloid as possible into the hands of potential Beatle buyers. Don’t, under any circumstances, end up with any large quantities of this tabloid sitting in your back room. They won’t help there!

Unless people wake up, the FF marketing campaign will never stop and the beatles will continue to exist as everybody’s favorite commodity. If you have to listen to them, at least know why you bought the albums. Love. Beatles Naked. Beatles One. Think about it, thats all I ask.

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In the words of the immortal John Lennon: “The Queen’s intelligent. It won’t spoil her cornflakes.”

Reason # 8392 – Hey Rude

Harken back to a happier time, a time when cheerful youth clubs like the Edwardians, the Mods and the Rockers played in the carefree streets of the 50’s and 60’s, out for a laugh and a some fun. ‘Golly Gee’ and ‘Jeepers’ they would yell at each other while playing catch with their pocketknives and bike chains.

Suddenly, all that changed. The streets turned ugly and so did the language. One day the knife was no longer a fun toy, but a dangerous weapon. By the early 70’s it was all a distant memory. Children began turning against their parents, chaos ruled the night and golly gee turned in to I’m gonna fucking kill you!

Ever wonder what happened? It can all be traced back to a singular event, in 1968 on August 28 in North America and August 30 in the UK, the beatles released the single Hey Jude. It snaked instantly into the charts and remained there for sixteen weeks, spending two in the number one position (before getting knocked out by Mary Hopkin’s eerily prophetic ditty, Those Were The Days).

This cheerful little six minute dirge contained enough subliminal debauchery to castrate the common decency of every god-fearing human that heard it. The hypnotically boring, mantra-like outro served as the mallet which hammered its spiked message into the consciousness of a generation.

This concealed directive occurs at approximately 2:55 in the song, briefly into the third verse between the lines The minute you let her under your skin and, then you begin. Right as the word begin is sung you’ll hear an Paul say, ‘Fucking Hell.’ Listen closely:

[audio:HeyJude_excerpt.mp3]

To prove this isn’t a doctored recording go and listen to the album. If you don’t have seventeen copies already go buy another one, drop another donation in the church of beatleology on your way out the door.

Further Reading:

For a deeper look into the horrid dungeon of filth, evil and despair that comprised the beatles recording sessions from Revolver in ’66 to the White Album in ’68, take a look at the memoirs of Geoff Emerick, a poor soul unfortunate enough to have suffered through these dark days as a recording engineer. His mind has obviously been bent and warped out of shape from the trauma of these years, in fact I’m surprised he’s not a drooling idiot at this point and is still coherent enough to spit frenzied words at some beatle apologist hungry to make his quota of FF books for the week. If you can’t forgive him for what he helped wrought on mankind, just try and remember these points:

1. Somebody else would have done it.

2. They might not have been brave or strong enough to stay alive and report the Hey Jude incident.

Geoff Emerick’s book