Its just been reported that Liverpool has been overrun with cries to build a statue of the so called fifth beatle, Brian Epstein. This is fantastic news, Liverpool hasn’t erected a new statue of the beatles in nearly a month. Austin, Texas has taken advantage of this sculpting lull by putting up its own towering tribute to the FF, a 36 foot version of the band holding their instruments and looking befuddled. What describes Texas better than a gargantuan edifice deifying an ancient pop band from England?
You guessed it, very soon there will be a beatles hotel opening up in Liverpool called The Hard Day’s Night Hotel.
The $40 million brainchild of Jonathan Davis, a rich bankers son funded by government money, is guaranteed to be a very classy affair.
“There will be subtle and clever references to the Beatles,” said Davies, “But if we have someone staying in the hotel who doesn’t happen to be a Beatles fan then we don’t want to hit them in the face with it. Each of the 110 rooms will have 110 photographs charting the history of the band.”
Good thinking, you wouldn’t want to be too obvious about it. I’m sure lots of innocent tourists will stumble into this Fab Trap seeing the giant guitar logo and have no inkling its a “bouthemed” hotel. Davis invented this word to refer to his endeavor. I’ve invented a word to refer to it as well, retardical.
Big Brother Paul watches on as you are fab
ulously creeped out. Try not to think about whats in the bathroom.
This isn’t the first beatle themed hotel, believe it or not. Last year fans flocked to the Capitol Tokyu Hotel in Tokyo where the FF stayed in 1966, just to bask in ancient beatle spores. The band only visited Japan once, forty years ago, but dammit, that was enough to have every beatletron with a disposable income zooming across the ocean to get the chance to watch a bunch of dorks in wigs play forty year old songs, while the entire country celebrated this historic event. THE ENTIRE COUNTRY!
God help us.