Tag Archives: love

Reason #307 – Three Days In the Life of Lame

Breaking News!

Following a much maligned documentary drought lasting nearly fifteen minutes, beatlemart is finally back to work!
To make up for their lack of productivity they’ve stunned the world by pumping out not one, but TWO brilliant new works of art to deify the crumbling remains of what once was a mighty and insurmountable gravy train. Whoops sorry, make that rock band.

The first incredibly important waste of celluloid is entitled, All Together Now. It chronicles one of the greatest casualties of modern theatre; LOVE, aka: Cirque du So Lame. Finally we’ll have a chance to see behind the scenes of this glorious production! Candid, never before cared about interviews and clips of McCartney, Ringo and Yoko Ono hard at work.

We imagine it looks something like this:

*Warning – Spoilers!*
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Reason #302- Cirque du So Lame

Viva Las Vegas! Step aside Celine Dion, there’s a new freakshow in town.
Cirque Du Soleil, the acrobatic dancing troupe who’ve conquered the world with their unique blend of breathtaking aerial performances, lavish costumes and live music have decided to take it to a new level. Thats right, the $600 million they grossed last year from their shows, combined with the development of TV specials, womens clothing lines, spas and restaurants, just ain’t cutting it.

When you’re a huge entertainment empire and you need some fast cash, just utter the magic word and before you can wiggle your tinsel glittered tootsies the beatlemachine will be there to assist you, for a small fee of course.
The new show is themed around George Martin’s latest offering of refried beatle droppings created specifically for this end, LOVE.

Drawn from the poetry of the lyrics, the show explores the content of the songs as interpreted by innovative performances from a cast of 60 international artists. It must have been a big job trying to explore the deeper meaning behind songs like, I Wanna Hold Your Hand and Octopus’s Garden.

The reviews for this spectacle have been mixed, it seems to depend on either how brainwashed your are, or what your tolerance for pain is. Most of the positive reviews seem to start like this, ‘First, I need to make it clear that I’m a Beatles fan.’ NO, REALLY? The rest of the reviews all use words like, Awful, Terrible, Extremely Disappointed, Didn’t Love, Save your money, Wost show in Vegas, and my personal favorite, As Uninspiring as A Ringo Song.

Remember when kids used to want to run away and join the circus? This ought to cure them of the urge.
I hope this what they meant by what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

Morbid curiosity must be eating away at you right now, so here is a sample. Just please be careful and have your mouse hovering over the stop button, we can’t be held responsible for what happens once you decide to watch.

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