Tag Archives: paul mccartney

Reason # 879 – Here comes the Moon

JG Thirlwell, the mastermind behind Foetus, once sang:

Complainin bout ma campaign against personal decency
I got no excuses
Just rules wrapped in barbed wire, laced with busted glass
(Yeah, I’m the one who gave the sandwich to Mama Cass)

Pretty ironic for a fat lady to choke on a ham sandwich, its given food to satirists for years.

Unfortunately, its not true. Mama Cass Elliot, of Mamas and the Papas fame, died after two sold-out performances at the London Palladium to standing ovations. When she retired to her flat at No.12 at 9 Curzon Place, she suffered heart failure and passed away in her sleep. There was a partially eaten ham sandwich found in her room, which led to the misconception.

It makes you wonder how such a straight story turned into a joke at the expense of the memory of this performer. Even after the coroner declared her death the result of natural causes, and an official report was issued, the legend continued to propagate. Its almost as if somebody was trying to distract the public from a bigger story.

Lets take a look at some random facts.

This wasn’t the only strange incident to occur at flat No.12 at 9 Curzon Place. A little over four years later Keith Moon died in the same room, on the anniversary of Buddy Holly’s death. On Sept 7, 1978 Keith Moon was invited to be Paul McCartney’s guest for the film premiere of The Buddy Holly Story, and after the movie they went to a dinner party. Afterwards he retired to the flat and overdosed on Clomethiazole, a medication taken as part of a program to wean him off alcohol. Thirty-two undissolved pills were found in his stomach.

This unlucky flat was owned by Henry Nilsson, a personal friend of John Lennon. The flat was in close proximity to Apple headquarters and was decorated by a design company owned by Ringo Starr. Keith Moon gave Ringo’s son, Zak, his first professional drum kit. Zak idolized Moon’s playing, and against his fathers wished became a drummer. Later he went on to work on some albums produced by John Entwistle, and finally replace Moon as The Who’s drummer.

According to Pete Townshend, “Keith used to be a kind of musical godfather to him. He gave him his first drum kit, which I think is rather strange. Ringo may have actually given him his first drum kit, but I think Keith gave him the first drum kit that he really wanted. It had nude women on it.”

Nilsson also starred with Moon in a rock’n’roll horror film called ‘Son of Dracula.’ Its known as one of the worst horror-comedy-rock movies ever made, and was produced by Ringo Starr. Ironically, it also starred another ill-fated powerhouse drummer, John Bonham.

Its an odd collection of facts when placed together, and to be completely out of character we aren’t going to draw any conclusions. The mysterious hand of the FF is everywhere, and nowhere.

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To learn more about Foetus:
Link to the official site

Reason # 9847 – Michael Jackson -vs- the Fab Four

In 1985 Michael Jackson purchased the rights to over two hundred beatle songs, trumping a joint bid by McCartney and Yoko Ono. Almost instantly the intense evil over-powered his gentle mind.

Instead of destroying these vile tracts by throwing them into a live volcano as was his original intention, he hid them away in the darkness of his Neverland dungeon, and just as suddenly as he had surprised the remaining FF with his coup; it was over for this courageous soul.

Succumbing to the call of a deeper and more sinister style of bubblegum pop than he had ever imagined, these songs began to transform him. He secluded himself in the darkness, and as his will grew weaker their power over him became complete. They warped his body and soul, and in the end ultimately slipped out of his grasp and found a way to get back to their dark masters.

This disastrous event didn’t go unnoticed. Fans grew concerned after his mysterious absence from the music scene. When he finally re-emerged due to public pressure, his supporters were horrified. When Jackson was questioned about his surreal deformities he nervously quipped back, ‘it’s a rare skin disease, you’re ignorant.’

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Does this story sound familiar? It should.

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This age old fable was recently made into a 37 hour movie by Peter Jackson.

Its the story of Smeagol, an unfortunate hobbit who happened upon the ring of the dark lord Sauron. Its malign influence took control, twisted his body and mind and prolonged his life well beyond its natural limits. He descended into the dark caves beneath the Misty Mountains, when he finally emerged he was almost as bad off as Michael Jackson.

The similarities between these two stories are uncanny. Just as every culture has a fable about a flood, every culture also has a tale such as this pervasive evil. Tolkien may have cleaned up his version because the real truth is far too ugly for most people to confront. Mark our words, there will be many more stories like this until the reign of the FF has ended, only then will these dark days come to pass.

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Reason # 254 – My Stupid Face

 

 

Some may argue that Paul has a great voice, but nobody can argue that he has a stupid face.

 

You can follow the stupidification progress chronologically by looking at the album covers and watch the transformation from a mildly normal looking youth, to the surprised Beatle.

By the time of Revolver and later Yellow Submarine the band was drawing or painting him, on Sgt Pepper and Magical Mystery costumes and disguises, were used but it was too late.

 

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His famous, “crumpet up the butt” look was seen on the cover of so many magazines, posters and movie screens that when the beatles finally broke up, not even John and Yoko’s hairy bushes could save him from his face.

 

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You’ve gotta Hand it to Paul, some grow old gracefully, some grow old and ugly, but with the Help! of plastic surgeons and hair dye Paul has managed to remain stupid looking for over 40 years.